I don't want food to fill me up,
or a gun that shoots real far.
I've always been a simple man,
content with my guitar.
But now there's something that I need,
I'd swing it round with lightning speed,
I'd have the midas touch indeed!
If I had a golden wrench.

The medic got an ubersaw,
the demo got a shield.
The spy he got a fancy gun,
but none of those I'd wield.
The pyro got a brand new axe,
the sniper got a bow.
But I've been waiting patiently
until my turn to go

I know my chances aren't good,
but I still hope and pray,
that golden tool I long to hold,
will come to me this day.
And If it doesn't, well then oh well,
just give me one; I'd never tell.
And if I don't I'll scream and yell,
"This ain't the last you've seen of Dell!"
And those that get one can burn in hell!